My husband has told me multiple times in the past few months that he misses my blogging. I noticed I have not written anything in about a year and a half. That's crazy. Because its not like theres been a shortage of life events, learning moments or good stories to tell. Oh the stories I have to tell. From labor, to blowout diapers, from raising a child to growing up myself. I am at no shortage of tales to tell.
I do enjoy writing. Especially since it allows me time to thoroughly process and meticulously arrange the way I wish to articulate my thoughts and feelings. That's very important to someone who easily rambles and (in sharing something I've never voiced before) even works herself into a slight stutter from excitement to just get words out. Like whoever I'm talking to might disappear before I have a chance to finish speaking. Well, all that to say I may get back into the swing of things after all. I think for my first time back in a while I will briefly list the top 10 things I've learned in a year of parenting. Because we all know... You can fit the plethera of knowledge you gain in one year into 10 single items...
1. After 3 days of little water, sleep and food... Your eye balls actually can become deplete of moisture and will stick to your eye lids and cloud your vision. Its scary. Drink water friends. Drink lots of water always.
2. You will have very sore arms from holding a baby for every nap for 5 months straight. But you will have a very full heart from all the closeness and that is a good trade.
3. Breastfeeding is amazing. But sometimes it sucks. Bottle feeding is a great alternative. But sometimes it sucks. No matter what you choose there will always be hard times and times you are greatful for whichever method you choose. Either way, you are doing what's best for your baby by selflessly and dutifully providing nourishment. And that makes you a great mom.
4. Post-partum anxiety is real. And its OK to admit when you need help. It makes reality seem scarier than what it is. To anyone who got caught in my crazy last year... I'm sorry. But thank you also. Because you all loved me despite my inability to just breathe.
5. When you start to feel like a grown up, have a baby. You'll realize you have been very wrong.
6. Poop is no joke. Seriously... Stop laughing right now. OK no, you can laugh. Poop is also funny.
7. There is no more heart warming sight than seeing your husband be a dad. To see that much love in his eyes is unreal.
8. Your body will never be the same. There are so many women campaigning for mothers everywhere to love their bodies and not be ashamed of the beauties that they are. And that's incredible and about time!! But its not easy. I wish I could say it was but for me it isn't. I am striving to change my perspective about myself and to do more to be healthy but I am a woman and I struggle with the true definition of beauty. I deeply desire to have a changed heart on this matter not just for me, but for my daughter.
9. I make some seriously cute babies. Enough said.
10. Every milestone, every behavioral victory, failure, every time I notice something Shiloh does that I'm certain I never taught her. Every time she smiles, laughs, crawls in my lap, runs into my arms... Every kiss and hug and snuggle. Every tear and scream and fit... Its all beautiful. Its all hard. Its all simple. Its all complicated. Its messy and easy and exhausting and exciting. Its the greatest thing I have ever done in my life and when I look in her eyes I see two more girls just like her. I am a mom. I fail. I succeed. I love God and he gives me grace daily. I am overwhelmed with responsibility and yet I'm wired to rise to the occasion. Number 10: It was worth every minute of the waiting to get here. It was completely worth it.